THE BEGINNING OF THE FLU?

February 28 & 29, Tuesday & Wednesday, 2012
 
I rested my pointer/typing finger and brain the last couple of days. I am also getting over a bad sinus infection. [I can hear Guilda Radner in my mind playing Rosa Anna Danna, saying ‘if it’s not one thing it’s another’. My ride, electric wheelchair, bracket with the speed and joystick, is broken. The place that services it will be here on Thursday. Duct tape is a wonderful invention.

Back to my adventure…..bad flu….When the hospital tells you it’s BLANK, you believe them. I was prepared for the flu…a really bad one.
I wasn’t hungry, felt lousy, a real joy to be around. I stayed in the spare/guest room. I didn’t take a shower for days.[boy, I must have smelled] When you feel that lousy-you don’t care. I didn’t move out of bed except to use the bathroom. I remember trying to brush my hair. [it was long then]. I balanced myself, one hand on the counter and my feet about shoulder width apart. My Mother was so sweet, she’d open the window, during the day [I knew it was to air out the room]she would say it was something else not to make me feel worse. She would try to get me to eat, spoon fed me soup and crackers, popsicle , anything I could get down and willing to eat. I felt horrible.

Flu?

February 25, Saturday 2012

So, I went home…to my cat, and life. Since they said I have a ‘really bad flu’, I thought it best to go to my parent’s house. There is nothing like a mother’s care when you are sick. I called home to ask my Mother if it was okay to stay there a few days. I packed a small duffel bag and thought I’d take a nap as I was to call my parents when I was ready. 

I was sleeping when the phone rang. I woke and couldn’t get up and had a really bad headache, I couldn’t walk, I crawled like a snake to answer the phone. When I got there the phone stopped  ringing. I thought,’NOOOOOOOOOOOO’ and went back to bed. The phone rang a few hours later, and  I still had a headache, crawled again, AHA! Got the phone this time. It was my Mom and wanted to know if they should pick me up because it was going to be dark soon. I told her they better come now to get me otherwise they may not be able to later.

[I think at this point I vomited. my cat knew something was wrong, he sniffed my head then the plastic square thing I got sick in. I said to him 'noooooo' as I pushed him away. That was the last time I  saw him.]

When they got there, they helped me with my coat [it was winter] and needed ice for the back of my head near the neck for the headache. I, half sat on a chair, feeling sick to my stomach. 

They both assisted me down the steps of my apartment to the van. I tried to sit, I couldn’t. They took out a row of seats, in the van, so I could lie down. [I had my pillow for sleeping over]. A really bad flu.

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

February 23 + 24, Thursday + Friday, 2012

Before I continue there are three things [4 if you’re me] that people with paraneoplastic syndrome, acquired brain injuries, [I’m sure others], are afraid of

1.   falling

2.   water in face

3.   choking to death

Now, back to what happened….
I went to many doctors, hopping to get my answers. I went to my Chiropractor, thinking something was wrong with my ankles. He told me I have weak ankles and gave me some exercises to do. But, [a big ‘but’ should go there], he gave me a four page print out of ‘Why your Chiropractor is doing BLANK’. Among the list was Paraneoplastic Syndrome. Which I glanced at and put in my stack of ‘I’ll read later.’ I had the answers in my hand! And put them down.
I went to my physician, again, with my Mother, I needed her to drive and get her opinion of this guy. I wanted to have an MRI. He said he couldn’t have me get an MRI without him having a good medical reason. My mother was flabbergasted. I got my MRI, eventually. Which showed nothing [when you don’t know what you are looking for, you find NOTHING] I could hardly walk, well I swayed.
I went to a Naturopathic doctor, to no avail. My insurance didn’t cover the many visits there.

Still no answers. My mother’s best friend suggested to start at the first thing that started. [OH, IT WAS MY EYES! –sequence, baby, sequence]. Okay, I went to my Eye Doctor. She took one look in my eyes, with her doctor stuff, and said ‘You better get to the emergency room and ask to see a Neurologist’. On the way, my Mother and I, decided to stop for lunch. [typical girl stuff]. When we finished lunch I started to feel off balance, dizzy, and vision was disturbed. From there we went to the emergency room.

Before long I saw an Oncologist and Neurologist, thank God my Mother was there. She helped me a lot. I’m in the hospital thinking they won’t release me until they know what’s wrong with me. Once I was admitted I began feeling better. I had many tests done; MRI, Spinal tap, CAT Scan, blood work and I can’t remember what else. They had no answers for me and called my physician.  He told them I was a Hypochondriac . [Really?] I looked it up to get the full definition.

Hypochondriac is a condition that affects the mind where a person thinks they are ill yet in real sense they are not. The person who is always under the impression that they are ill and constantly get the fear of getting falling sick. Some of the causes of hypochondriac are the underlying disease or illness. For example a person who has chronic illness like cancer, diabetes or HIV/AIDS can develop this anxiety of thinking that they are sick even when they are not. Another cause can be an irritating thought that can dominate the mind about the fear of uncertainty or of the unknown. For example if you have had someone who had the symptoms that are similar to yours and they were diagnosed with certain diseases that scare you then you can begin to feel sick.

[Now I feel sick.]
I learned in the hospital if you can’t do for yourself, no one will help you. I watched many people suffer-alone. I never wanted to be one of them. Finally I got discharged. I couldn’t wait for my parents to pick me up and go to my apartment to my cat. As I washed up in their bath room, I looked in the mirror and my eyes couldn’t focus. It was as if the horizontal hold on the t.v. needed to be adjusted. [I’m dating myself now. We are talking pre-cable]. One of my parents came in to get me. I was told by doctors there I had a really bad flu. My parents could not understand why I was in such a rush to get out of there. At that point I needed help walking.

……TO BE CONTINUED......

MY GENESIS II

February 22, Wednesday, 2012

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, then my eyes started to double everything.  My sister was driving me to pick up my much 'needed' prescription for my 'inner ear infection'. The stop sign at the end of the street became 2.The spinning and headache with the double vision would come and go. While we waited for the prescription, my nephew and I went into the video store. We were getting movies and snacks for all of us [3 kids and 2  adults].
I was okay going in. Went through one wall, the second one [much smaller], of course my nephew zipped through these. On my way to the third one...I could not see, [everything went black] the spinning came, I felt like I was going down, called for my nephew, he came running over where I was,  and just like that I was fine.

During this period of time I noticed driving backwards was easier than driving forwards. I was extremely tired, sometimes I slept all day, when I woke I felt like I could sleep some more. At work my ankles would all-of-a-sudden feel weak and give out on me. On one occasion this happened just as the big boss walked by me. He asked me if I had been drinking. [it was 9 in the morning.] This all happened in 2 weeks.

Some strange events happened to me.  I can't remember if it was before or after. I watched a lot of movies. As I was on all fours, going from the coffee table to the DVD player [a matter of three feet], my hips fell to the floor. Sometimes my lower back hurt-a lot.

Through all of it I felt something was wrong with my digestion. I use to put one hand just below my mouth and the other on top of my pubic bone and say I felt something was wrong from here to here.[little did I know.....] but I was determined to get answers.

...MORE TOMORROW.....

MY GENESIS

February 21, Tuesday, 2012

hmmm...where to start? [I know, from the begging, you say] Okay, I'll start when I was diagnosed.

It all happened after I turned 40. 2005...what a year-ha ha ha. All these weird things [symptoms] started to come and go. Then stayed with me. Years before that, things happened and were forgotten...until now-it all is so clear to me. When everything started, now the order of events Is not too clear to me, I'll try to get them right. Everything happened so fast.

I remember having this incredible headache, in the back of my head. The kind of headache that needs ice to calm it.[my Dr. said it was a migraine headache-prescribed something for migraines with the instructions to call him if I didn't get better]. I didn't. I became dizzy. You know when you're a kid, you put you're arms out to the side and spin? You spin so much you fall over. That's how the spinning felt to me. This time the Dr. invited me in for an appointment. He turned my head this way and that way. Then asked me if I felt better. I didn't. He said it must be an inner ear infection.[prescribed something for that]. Sill not better.

....TO  BE CONTINUED.....